Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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