I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
