she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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