honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
