That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
