I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
