I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
