I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And then he peed in my hair
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