hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
