I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
