you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
