I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
