I'm lost and stupid without you.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
