He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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