you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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