U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
