when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
