There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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