I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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