Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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