if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
