so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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