Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize