You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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