i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
