Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
