Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
