I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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