rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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