Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize