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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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