Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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