we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
