I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
