Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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