Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
