just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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