I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
