i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
