i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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