It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
