forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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