Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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