Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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