FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
