There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
