haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Please don't give away my fajitas
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
