You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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