I want to have your abortion
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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