Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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