On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
