normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
