Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
