I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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