you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
