It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
