Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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